Daniel Vinhas

 When he removed his throbbing quim dagger from my fart valve, he was pleasantly surprised to see a Mr. Hanky staring back as him. He knew I couldn't wait to consume the toilet twinkie off his one-eyed monster. The raiding of my old dirt road was so vigorous, he soon found his wrecking balls joining his skin flute deep in my poop chute. I can't wait to chow down on the steamin' semen from his sperminator. Inserting an egg timer into my stench trench got me spouting beige slime faster than greased shit off a shiny shovel. My slime hole was trembling like Micheal J. Fox licking a car battery.

Bender, this is Fry's decision… and he made it wrong. So it's time for us to interfere in his life.

 

If rubbin' frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don't wanna be right. Why, those are the Grunka-Lunkas! They work here in the Slurm factory. I can explain. It's very valuable. And from now on you're all named Bender Jr.

And I'm his friend Jesus. Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood! That could be 'my' beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing.

Oh Leela! You're the only person I could turn to; you're the only person who ever loved me.

Are you crazy? I can't swallow that. Our love isn't any different from yours, except it's hotter, because I'm involved. Yes! In your face, Gandhi! Calculon is gonna kill us and it's all everybody else's fault!

1. WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!
2. Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious.
3. I'll get my kit!

Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I'm still single? It's 'cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans!

I've been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? You, minion. Lift my arm. AFTER HIM! Ah, the 'Breakfast Club' soundtrack! I can't wait til I'm old enough to feel ways about stuff!

• There's one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain!
• Anyone who laughs is a communist!
• I love this planet! I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring.

Kif, I have mated with a woman. Inform the men. I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though! Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died. What's with you kids? Every other day it's food, food, food. Alright, I'll get you some stupid food.

Say it in Russian! And then the battle's not so bad? Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient? Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?! But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop.

File not found. I saw you with those two "ladies of the evening" at Elzars. Explain that. Bender, this is Fry's decision… and he made it wrong. So it's time for us to interfere in his life. And remember, don't do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don't not do it!

Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Who are you, my warranty?! You've killed me! Oh, you've killed me! We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them? Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say.

What kind of a father would I be if I said no? Soon enough. Shinier than yours, meatbag. You, minion. Lift my arm. AFTER HIM! And yet you haven't said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you?

I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn't make sense. No! The cat shelter's on to me. No! Don't jump! And I'm his friend Jesus. You don't know how to do any of those.

What's with you kids? Every other day it's food, food, food. Alright, I'll get you some stupid food. Shinier than yours, meatbag. Alright, let's mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew.

Eeeee! Now say "nuclear wessels"! No, I'm Santa Claus! Meh. This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me! I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died.

We're rescuing ya. Also Zoidberg. In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells. Fry! Stay back! He's too powerful!

Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages! A sexy mistake. Who am I making this out to? Fry, you can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.